Social Expectations in Short Long-Hand

Introduction

I often talk with one of my good friends from high school. He's a student with me here at university and our conversations are never fluffy. Time after time, we talk about, in no small detail, social expectations. We cover a broad range, from physical appearance to "standard double standards". To cover each category in one post would be mind-numbing, perhaps lethal, both in writing and reading. Thus I have selected a few topics I deal with in my everyday life, some that I feel I can speak best on.

Expectations of Women

Perhaps the most potent expectation is that of physical appearance. Far from looking trendy, I just wear whatever is available. Most guys dress decently, with the exception of droopy drawers. You probably saw this coming a mile away, but I'll be focusing on the role women are expected to play. Literally from birth, we're all bombarded by advertising and messages of all sorts. The troubling trend I see is that women are expected to be sexy, yet then demeans them for it. Spiritually, I'd argue that modesty preserves one's dignity. Still, even if a woman wants to show herself off, she's then degraded for it. This is one of the rare times that I suspend my own beliefs; truly, women are forced into a no-win scenario. If she's modest, she's under huge social pressure to change. If she's trendy, that's cool but probably not to the degree society expects. Then if she is up to snuff, she's subjected to all sorts of crap for it. If she flaunts it...you get the idea.

Is it any wonder why we still see teen pregnancies, among other such hallmarks? Rather than at least prevent society's schizophrenia, we have have a dualism that defeats itself. True, I wish to see a world where the expectation is a modest, dignified beauty that women can be proud of. No need to show off, just living life and using her abilities to impress, like men pretty much do now (not boys, if you catch this brief differentiation). That's what I'd like to see. Still, the problem of "being to hot" for society's standard would pervade. It's a classic no win scenario. Humans are shallow. This only stirs the surface of the issue.

Teaching, a Cure-all

And now for something completely different. Have you ever had a bad teacher? How about a good one? We've all had a teacher, or at least a mentor, that we loved dearly. Perhaps that individual caused a chosen career path, or a passionate hobby. Teachers are pretty darn important. They're expected by society to be caretaker, counselor, taskmaster, knowledge dispenser, and even other jobs. Yet we see continually harsher expectations with the same amount of resources.

I could teach just about any math class back at my old high school at a pretty high success rate (for a young teacher, that is) despite my low experience. I know the material, what to expect in that social area, and so on. I know I'd have the resources to succeed, at the very least.

This is not the case everywhere. There are many neighborhoods where education is already on the brink of self-destruction. No Child Left Behind creates a usually-destructive trend that kills schools in such areas. What then? Is there a replacement? If so, does it fare better? I actually shudder to know; truth is, I haven't checked. The expectation of kids to suddenly want to learn more or learn better despite higher expectations with the same limited resources is baffling.

Learning becomes an evil machine rather than an enlightening process. Is it any wonder that a neighborhood composed of people of color will accuse a white person of privilege? Other issues aside, their kids will have a snowball's chance in Hell to get an education just to attempt to work their way up in life. Again, this is only a hair's breadth of the issue.

Professionalism, a.k.a People Suck

Finally, a sort of rhetorical question, something that's irked me for some time now. Why is it that if someone misses a date or meeting, or even work, the response is to verbally guillotine them? Throughout my life, I've had the privilege of being asked why I wasn't in my designated spot. Upon responding, I would always be told that the reason isn't good enough. This includes: nearly sliding off the road at 15 mph after the bus came early; being clinically depressed and arriving late to class and thus having homework rejected; simply being honest (don't get me started on law enforcement); and let's not forget people who start meetings/class/etc. five minutes late but penalize students who come in after the class is scheduled to start, but before anything actually happens. These are all situations I have experienced.

Why should an accident mean so much to someone's career? It's like in a sitcom: some friends are hanging out and they get ticked/sad/overly hopeful that the token outcast person didn't show up. Then they figure out he was mugged or something. Then it's tears and they accept the outcast and all that good stuff. Why is it that it takes something so drastic for an absence or tardy to be acceptable? Professionals might not have a choice: a barking dog preventing sleep, a faulty alarm (or several), exhaustion, the list is nearly endless. Society expects people to literally pay in blood, and usually mental health, for a mistake. Honesty means nothing; explanations are just excuses. Perhaps I've grown cynical in my experiences, but I've lived this trend.

Conclusion

Well, that's certainly a long post. Hopefully I've given you something to think about. Make a positive change about one of these points. Whether it's words of encouragement or volunteering your time, work for "the least of these" as Christ said.